Think about the brands you choose to wear, drive, drink, support or display. Some are purely functional. Others say something about us.

An Apple user. A Harley rider. A LEGO enthusiast. Someone wearing their favourite team’s colours. At some point, consumption can move beyond choosing a product and become a signal of identity – communicating who we are, what we value and where we belong.

So why can some brands create a sense of belonging, while others remain simply something we buy? It may have something to do with our desire to simultaneously fit in and stand out.

We partly define ourselves through others

Social Identity Theory proposes that our sense of self is shaped not only by our individual characteristics, but also by the groups to which we belong.

We might identify as South Australian, a Crows supporter, researcher, golfer, or gamer. These memberships help answer the question: Who am I?

Brands can become wrapped up in this process too. Research by Bhattacharya and Sen suggests consumers can develop stronger relationships with organisations when identifying with them helps satisfy self-definitional needs. Escalas and Bettman similarly found that brands associated with groups we identify with can strengthen our connection to those brands.

Sometimes we are not only buying the product. We are buying into what – and who – it represents.

But we don’t just want to fit in

Belonging comes with an interesting tension. We want to feel connected to others, but most of us do not want to lose our individuality in the process.

Psychologist Marilynn Brewer captured this through Optimal Distinctiveness Theory, which proposes that our social identities balance two competing needs:

Assimilation – the desire to belong and feel similar to others.

Differentiation – the desire to retain individuality and distinctiveness.

Powerful group identities can emerge when both needs are satisfied – when we can simultaneously feel “these are my people” and “this says something distinctive about me”.

That creates a challenge for brands. Too exclusive and people may struggle to see themselves as part of the group. Too universal and the brand may cease to communicate anything meaningful about the person choosing it.

The sweet spot may be a community broad enough to belong to, but distinctive enough that membership still means something.

When customers become a community

Belonging becomes particularly powerful when the relationship extends beyond the individual and the brand.

In their influential research into brand communities, Albert Muniz Jr. and Thomas O’Guinn identified three characteristics:

Shared consciousness – a sense of connection and “us”.

Rituals and traditions – behaviours and practices that maintain the community’s culture.

Moral responsibility – a sense of responsibility towards the community and its members.

Having lots of loyal customers does not necessarily mean you have a community. Community begins when customers feel a connection not only with the brand, but with each other.

Someone may buy the same toothpaste for 20 years without feeling any affinity with another person who uses it. Compare that with football supporters, car club members or technology enthusiasts. The brand becomes common ground around which relationships, language and traditions develop.

Strong communities often develop their own terminology, jokes, symbols and rituals. Research by Schau, Muniz and Arnould found members also create value by sharing knowledge, welcoming newcomers and celebrating brand history. Knowing how something is done “properly” becomes a subtle signal: I’m one of you.

Brands help us stand out too

Brands do not only help us find people like ourselves; they can also distinguish us from those we perceive as different.

Escalas and Bettman found that brands associated with groups consumers identify with can strengthen self-brand connections, while associations with groups they do not identify with can have the opposite effect. This helps explain why brand choice can become surprisingly tribal – Apple versus Android, one sporting club versus another. The choice can become partly about us and them.

Once a brand becomes embedded in identity, switching can mean more than finding an alternative product. It can feel like moving away from something that represents who we are.

When belonging goes too far

The same boundaries that make an in-group feel special can make outsiders feel unwelcome. Communities can become intimidating to newcomers, long-term members can act as gatekeepers, and brands can become so closely associated with one type of person that others struggle to imagine themselves belonging.

Belonging requires some boundary around who we are, but brands should be careful that this does not become a rigid definition of who belongs.

Can brands actually create belonging?

Declaring customers a “community” does not make them one. Neither does setting up a Facebook group, creating a hashtag or giving customers a collective name.

Real belonging forms around something people genuinely share: an interest, identity, purpose, activity, challenge or experience. Sometimes the brand may be at the centre. In others, its most useful role may simply be creating the conditions for people to connect.

Maybe the better question is not:

How do we build a community around our brand?

but:

What do our customers already care about, and how could we help them connect around it?

Belonging without becoming the same

The strongest communities give people enough shared identity to feel connected while leaving room for individual expression.

For brands, belonging is unlikely to come from encouraging customers to conform to a fixed image of the “ideal” customer. It comes from creating shared meaning while allowing people to make that meaning their own.

Brands become more powerful when they move from something people buy to something people feel part of. But belonging cannot simply be declared into existence. It grows when people find shared identity, meaning and – perhaps most importantly – connection with one another.

Square Holes is a cultural insight studio.

We design mixed method explorations of people and culture beyond the category,  uncovering the patterns, tensions and shifts shaping behaviour to inform strategy, inspire innovation and enable confident decisions. Our studio model brings together the right mix of thinkers, researchers and specialists for each exploration. If you’re navigating change, entering a new market, or seeking deeper understanding of people and culture, let’s start a conversation >