Think about some of the biggest moments in your life: graduating from university, buying your first home, becoming a parent, retirement. It’s likely that all these transitional periods have been associated with certain rituals.

I’m currently planning a wedding, and there are so many accepted practices involved in getting married. The engagement rings, bridal showers, bucks shows, walking down the aisle, exchanging vows and rings, the first kiss, signing the register, speeches, cutting the cake, first dance, throwing the bouquet and planning the honeymoon.

These are all seen as ‘rites of passage’. Significant events or rituals that mark a transition in an individual’s life. They serve to “impart meaning to major life changes”. Rites of passage characteristically comprise three key stages: separation, transition and incorporation.

Separation (pre-limen) – Detaching from a previous self/status. It usually occurs within everyday life over a period, whilst always being marked symbolically. In my marriage example, consider it the engagement and preparing for the wedding

Transition (liminality) – Defined by ambiguity of status – the strange ‘in-between’ period where the old no longer applies but the new isn’t established. It is often limited to the period in which an “active and public ritual transformation is taking place”, those involved have already been separated from their previous identity and are now being altered into a new state of being. Think of the marriage ceremony.

Incorporation (post-limen) – Assuming the rights and responsibilities of the new status, commonly marked by a formal public presentation of those who have gone through the ritual. In the example of marriage: the reception, first dance, wedding rings and being introduced as a married couple.

By incorporating ritual into major life transitions, we aren’t just repeating practices for the sake of it; we are actively shaping the experience, highlighting the significance of what is occurring, allowing space for emotional processing and creating connection to community.

The rituals around these stages are so important because they create certainty, identity, belonging and shared recognition.

Liminality is probably the most interesting aspect of the rites of passage – frequently described as being ‘betwixt and between’ – it embodies the feeling of anxiety and uncertainty that often occurs with any sort of transformation. According to Arnold van Gennep (the founding theorist for rites of passage), rituals serve as the container and the map for this chaotic space. Without rituals to anchor, guide, and ultimately bring closure to this period, a person may experience psychological and social breakdowns of structure.

Such absence of rituals during key life moments can cause a sense of ongoing liminality – a stark example being observed during the COVID-19 pandemic – where the lack of proper funerals and mourning left many families in a state of suspended and complicated grief with no proper psychological resolution.

Perhaps this is why rituals become particularly important during periods of liminality. When our old identity no longer quite fits, but the new one has not yet fully formed, rituals provide structure to an otherwise uncertain period.

They give change a beginning, a middle and an end. They allow us to pause, acknowledge what is being left behind and recognise what comes next. Importantly, they also make that transition visible to other people. A graduation ceremony does not create a graduate, just as a wedding ceremony does not create a relationship, but each provides a shared moment in which a new status is recognised.

Without that marker, change can feel less distinct. We may have technically moved into a new phase of life without necessarily feeling that we have arrived there.

This is perhaps the enduring value of rites of passage. Rituals do not remove the uncertainty of change, but they give us a way to move through it. They turn an ambiguous transition into something we can recognise, share and ultimately leave behind.

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